I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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