yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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