any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i think my cat just said my name.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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