So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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