I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
