Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
