1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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