I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
