Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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