Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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