yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
