I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
