my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
