how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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