Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
