so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize