i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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