He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
