Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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