I think I died a long time ago.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
