im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Randomize
