Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
