Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
