I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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