Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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