that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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