the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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