They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
