3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
