My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
