im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
