I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize