So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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