Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
