Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
