Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
