This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
