you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Randomize
