4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
