dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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