if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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