Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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