I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
