i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
