you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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