I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
