I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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