a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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