I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
third nipple confirmed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
