There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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