We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
