whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
