Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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