My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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