yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
