I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just had sex on a roof
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
