I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize