can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
