it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
