either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
