Nicole vs. Life
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica