Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.

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  (516): Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke. http://tfl.nu/6p0l
  Replies (8) Good night (632) Bad night (1869) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him

  (310): View more from California

  its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain

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  (310): I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him (310): its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain http://tfl.nu/r69k
  Replies (11) Good night (2580) Bad night (504)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (200) Good night (80199) Bad night (4310) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.

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  (818): I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek. http://tfl.nu/wo3r
  Replies (18) Good night (3509) Bad night (4798) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

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  (404): my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material. http://tfl.nu/r91w
  Replies (15) Good night (11854) Bad night (881) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  This hangover is way worse than all my relationships

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  (334): This hangover is way worse than all my relationships http://tfl.nu/m3xj
  Replies (6) Good night (951) Bad night (3362) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.

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  (614): I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision. http://tfl.nu/xp34
  Replies (7) Good night (4028) Bad night (698)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?

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  (724): This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class? http://tfl.nu/x3em
  Replies (12) Good night (3536) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"

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  (267): Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone" http://tfl.nu/ni9u
  Replies (16) Good night (1018) Bad night (3414) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?

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  (859): she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery? http://tfl.nu/4aiq
  Replies (24) Good night (6256) Bad night (649)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic

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  (765): Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic http://tfl.nu/t5x0
  Replies (4) Good night (421) Bad night (1468) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore

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  (910): I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore http://tfl.nu/qak0
  Replies (6) Good night (1548) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...

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  (248): I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw... http://tfl.nu/f06y
  Replies (2) Good night (1205) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".

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  (951): He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later". http://tfl.nu/gid9
  Replies (12) Good night (779) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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  (914): So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank. http://tfl.nu/0iga
  Replies (4) Good night (646) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt

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