I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.