When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
