Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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