i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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