I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
