we're blogging at a bar
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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