So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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