There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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