we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Two words: blizzard sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
